Sunday, March 27, 2011

Walking by Faith.

13 Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” 14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15 Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” James 4:13-15

So, guys...I'm a Senior.

Do you know what that means?

That means 3 more months until I get to dress up like a judge with a square hat and receive a piece of paper. A paper which tells me that I may now go out into the world and become somebody. {Well, after college of course.} My mom will cry, my dad will say kind words that will make everyone else cry and I will say good-bye to a lot of my friends. It will be the closing of an amazing chapter in the story of my life, and the opening of another.

Wanna know something hilarious? I have no idea what is going end up happening in my life. But that's 100% ok. You know why? It's not my life.

If you've ever read Prince Caspian, by C.S. Lewis, you might remember the part of the story when the Pevensie children are wandering around in the forest, trying desperately to find a way to get to where Prince Caspian would be waiting for them.

Lucy sees Aslan and knows that He is beckoning to her to come, but it doesn't make sense for her to go. Nobody else saw Him, and He was across a deep gorge. Two pretty big problems. She tried to convince the others that they should follow Aslan, but their voices of reason made more sense than her words of insanity about seeing a lion beckoning to her to come follow Him off a cliff. Well, they ended up going a different way and almost getting killed and then decided to try the Aslan following deal. They went back to where Lucy saw Aslan and she ends up accidentally falling off the the cliff and onto a trail that they couldn't see from where the were standing.

This trail would take them right to where they needed to be. It was a path that couldn't be seen from their vantage point, but it was a path that Aslan was obviously leading them to the whole time. Who cares if it wasn't was THE path. 

That's basically this chapter in my life. I know that God is calling me. I also know that right now, He's not calling me to go to college. I know its not very logical in our day and age to skip out on college, but I DO know that my God is faithful to lead me on the right path. The path that is going to allow me to be used by Him, for His glory in the nations.

In the past 6 months, I have had two doors open to work in two different ministries {Working in orphan care, community development projects, etc. Try not to get too confused here in a second.}

 Last October, I was planning on moving to Bristol, TN to work with the ministry that was headquartered there.

Then a door opened for a possible internship in Nashville, TN with another ministry.

November 2010: I felt like the Lord was calling me to stay home another 6 months to care for the Littles so my mom could finish writing her book. I almost had to say no to both opportunities.
{God stepped in. Don't worry Ellie! I won't make you say no. They'll both say no to you! Ha.}

Internship #1 that I was supposed to do was postponed.
Internship #2 was also a fail.

God loved me so well and brought me to a whole nother level of trusting Him.
I wouldn't trade the months that I've had here at home with the Littles for anything. They have been such a blessing to me and the Lord has taught me so much.

December 2010: I feel like the Lord is calling me to go to Nashville to serve in ministry there ... except, there is no opportunity for me to go there. Tricky? Yes.

February 2011: Some doors started to open for Internship 2 in Nashville again. Still didn't work out.

March 2011: I hear from Internship 1 in Bristol saying that they are  back on track and launching their intern program in July...this time they are trying to do it in Nashville. WHAT? Yes.

Do I feel like God is moving the whole ministry of Safeworld Nexus to Nashville because that's where He's calling me to go right now? Sometimes, yes. ;) Sometimes the details are just so crazy that I think God might only have time to work out my life's details and no one else's. And then I remember that He is just that good and that big. He orchestrates things together so beautifully. It's astonishing to me. In fact, he was probably just preparing my heart back in December for this very thing.

So, does this mean that I am moving to Nashville? At this point, I think so!  However, if I've learned anything in the past 6 months, its that I'm not in charge of the game plan. God is. The earth and all it's inhabitants are the Lord's and He is faithful and just. All His ways are good. He works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. {Romans 8:28} Therefore, I know that every bump and curve and 'glitch' in my mind, are just opportunities to trust in the faithfulness of a loving God who is working all of those things out for good.

I know that wherever He calls me, wherever I am, I have that moment to be the hands and feet of Jesus to those who are in front of me. Whether that means the 6 children that I currently spend most of my days with, or if that means the people I will work with in TN and Uganda { Lord willing}. I am learning that life isn't about the next step. Life is about each moment and how we steward it.

I am so beyond thankful that He is teaching me to lean less and less on my own understanding. Thankful that He is teaching me how to acknowledge Him in all my ways, and to trust Him to direct my paths in the ways in which He wants them to go. {Proverbs 3:5}

This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!
Until Jesus comes, no matter what, no matter where, no matter how.

I don't know where I'm gonna end up, but I know I'll be there with Jesus. He promises never to leave us, nor forsake us. And that's enough for me.

 P.S. I wouldn't trade in any of the confusion or changes of plans that have happened in the past six months. God has taught me so much about His fatherly love for me, about His sovreignty and His timing, that I am beyond grateful for those weird flip-flopping plans. They are priceless now because of the things that Jesus spoke to me as a result of these events. He's working them together for good already and I haven't even left North Carolina yet. What a Savior.

                                            I love my super cool sister.


Staci said...

Ellie, this post is pretty amazing! Thanks for posting it :) You are so incredibly right that life isn't about the future plans we make or what we think we are going to do, but about right now, where we are today, and how we are drawing closer to Him, knowing Him better, and learning to trust in Him more fully everyday. I am in this same boat, striving to trust in Him and His plans and not my own! ps. the part of prince caspian that you shared is like my absolute favorite part of all the narnia books (which are like the best books ever).. love that it teaches to follow where God is leading, even if it makes no sense.

Renee said...

You look beautiful in these pictures. Looking forward to following your journey as you begin the next chapter, our future looks brighter because of people like you!

Natali said...

Gosh, I admire you, Ellie. Just keep on listening to His voice :) I can assure you it is worth it. I'm sitting in my bed in Mali, and the journey that has gotten me here I wouldn't change anything either. All the upset plans and things that were disappointing about the "getting there" are all ways that God has spoken so loud and clear, and moved in ways to fix those things (in His way and timing). I can't wait to see what God has for you. Just know that it's going to be great. :)