Sunday, March 27, 2011

Walking by Faith.

13 Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” 14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15 Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” James 4:13-15

So, guys...I'm a Senior.

Do you know what that means?

That means 3 more months until I get to dress up like a judge with a square hat and receive a piece of paper. A paper which tells me that I may now go out into the world and become somebody. {Well, after college of course.} My mom will cry, my dad will say kind words that will make everyone else cry and I will say good-bye to a lot of my friends. It will be the closing of an amazing chapter in the story of my life, and the opening of another.

Wanna know something hilarious? I have no idea what is going end up happening in my life. But that's 100% ok. You know why? It's not my life.

If you've ever read Prince Caspian, by C.S. Lewis, you might remember the part of the story when the Pevensie children are wandering around in the forest, trying desperately to find a way to get to where Prince Caspian would be waiting for them.

Lucy sees Aslan and knows that He is beckoning to her to come, but it doesn't make sense for her to go. Nobody else saw Him, and He was across a deep gorge. Two pretty big problems. She tried to convince the others that they should follow Aslan, but their voices of reason made more sense than her words of insanity about seeing a lion beckoning to her to come follow Him off a cliff. Well, they ended up going a different way and almost getting killed and then decided to try the Aslan following deal. They went back to where Lucy saw Aslan and she ends up accidentally falling off the the cliff and onto a trail that they couldn't see from where the were standing.

This trail would take them right to where they needed to be. It was a path that couldn't be seen from their vantage point, but it was a path that Aslan was obviously leading them to the whole time. Who cares if it wasn't was THE path. 

That's basically this chapter in my life. I know that God is calling me. I also know that right now, He's not calling me to go to college. I know its not very logical in our day and age to skip out on college, but I DO know that my God is faithful to lead me on the right path. The path that is going to allow me to be used by Him, for His glory in the nations.

In the past 6 months, I have had two doors open to work in two different ministries {Working in orphan care, community development projects, etc. Try not to get too confused here in a second.}

 Last October, I was planning on moving to Bristol, TN to work with the ministry that was headquartered there.

Then a door opened for a possible internship in Nashville, TN with another ministry.

November 2010: I felt like the Lord was calling me to stay home another 6 months to care for the Littles so my mom could finish writing her book. I almost had to say no to both opportunities.
{God stepped in. Don't worry Ellie! I won't make you say no. They'll both say no to you! Ha.}

Internship #1 that I was supposed to do was postponed.
Internship #2 was also a fail.

God loved me so well and brought me to a whole nother level of trusting Him.
I wouldn't trade the months that I've had here at home with the Littles for anything. They have been such a blessing to me and the Lord has taught me so much.

December 2010: I feel like the Lord is calling me to go to Nashville to serve in ministry there ... except, there is no opportunity for me to go there. Tricky? Yes.

February 2011: Some doors started to open for Internship 2 in Nashville again. Still didn't work out.

March 2011: I hear from Internship 1 in Bristol saying that they are  back on track and launching their intern program in July...this time they are trying to do it in Nashville. WHAT? Yes.

Do I feel like God is moving the whole ministry of Safeworld Nexus to Nashville because that's where He's calling me to go right now? Sometimes, yes. ;) Sometimes the details are just so crazy that I think God might only have time to work out my life's details and no one else's. And then I remember that He is just that good and that big. He orchestrates things together so beautifully. It's astonishing to me. In fact, he was probably just preparing my heart back in December for this very thing.

So, does this mean that I am moving to Nashville? At this point, I think so!  However, if I've learned anything in the past 6 months, its that I'm not in charge of the game plan. God is. The earth and all it's inhabitants are the Lord's and He is faithful and just. All His ways are good. He works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. {Romans 8:28} Therefore, I know that every bump and curve and 'glitch' in my mind, are just opportunities to trust in the faithfulness of a loving God who is working all of those things out for good.

I know that wherever He calls me, wherever I am, I have that moment to be the hands and feet of Jesus to those who are in front of me. Whether that means the 6 children that I currently spend most of my days with, or if that means the people I will work with in TN and Uganda { Lord willing}. I am learning that life isn't about the next step. Life is about each moment and how we steward it.

I am so beyond thankful that He is teaching me to lean less and less on my own understanding. Thankful that He is teaching me how to acknowledge Him in all my ways, and to trust Him to direct my paths in the ways in which He wants them to go. {Proverbs 3:5}

This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!
Until Jesus comes, no matter what, no matter where, no matter how.

I don't know where I'm gonna end up, but I know I'll be there with Jesus. He promises never to leave us, nor forsake us. And that's enough for me.

 P.S. I wouldn't trade in any of the confusion or changes of plans that have happened in the past six months. God has taught me so much about His fatherly love for me, about His sovreignty and His timing, that I am beyond grateful for those weird flip-flopping plans. They are priceless now because of the things that Jesus spoke to me as a result of these events. He's working them together for good already and I haven't even left North Carolina yet. What a Savior.

                                            I love my super cool sister.

Friday, March 4, 2011


My sweet great-aunt passed away this week. She was a sweet, sweet woman. She was the spitting image of the Fairy Godmother in Cinderella. The Fairy Godmother...with a New York accent.

 She lived ten hours away from my family so I only saw her when we would go stay with my grandparents {when they lived in Florida}.

My Grandpa and most of his sisters lived in the same neighborhood at the time and they would visit each other in their Florida rooms for iced tea most days. It was always so fun to go visit them. My Grandma and Grandpa's house was always cold enough to house penguins and was impeccably clean. My Grandpa's workshop would be full of odds and ends that he'd collected at yard sales all year long. It was like the cave in the Little Mermaid. Except better.

The first day we got into town, we could always expect to be welcomed by the aroma of homemade Spaghetti and Meatballs.
 Grandma kept a little tin on her kitchen window sill with the word "love" written on it. She always told us it was her secret ingredient. {I snuck over and opened it one day to discover it was empty. I thought she lied. I didn't get the whole sweetness of the analogy until a few years later. I know, I know. don't be so uptight ellie. sheesh.}

 My brother and I would ride bikes all around their little neighborhood and stop off at all the relatives houses. They usually fed us and then we'd go back outside to catch lizards. My sweet little Aunt Pat {She was a good deal shorter than me last time I saw her and I'm only 5'1". } had one of these in her shed which she let use.

Needless to say, she was probably our most frequent stop.

Once when I was in middle school and feeling so lame that all of my friends were growing by the foot and I...wasn't...She told me "Ellie, don't chyoo evah forget..dynamite comes in smawl packages." :)

She was a sweet woman with a heart full of kindness. She will be greatly missed.

We're all going to Florida tomorrow for the funeral.

We realized as we were preparing yesterday that Solomon and I are on Spring Break all next week and Jonathan has most of the week off. So, what do you do when your going to Florida with your whole family and you don't have to be back home for a few days? You go to Disney World. Thats what.

I've been asking to do a family excursion to Disney for my graduation celebration since... my freshman year of high school. So, next week is a combo: Spring Break vacation, Last Hoorah for the Mestas Big Kids being able to vacation with the rest of the family, and, Celebrate-Ellie-Being-Done-with-School trip. It's going to be a party. {I wish Melissa, Randy and the Pearcelings could come with us! :( }

BUT. Shhh.. Solomon and the Littles don't know! {THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT'S COMING TO THEM!}Solomon and the youngest three have never been and the older twins have only been to Disney Land.
Commence: Mission Impossible. Aka...keep the secret until Monday. We have been speaking in Spanish and spelling things out and doing everything possible to ensure that we don't spill the beans...but I'm probably going to blow it because its all my brain wants to think about. {I have dreams of making my home above one of the shops in Downtown Disney Land.} While spelling things out today my dad and I had this cute conversation.

 Papa: "Do you know what I'm most excited about? What my favorite part is?"
Me: "The r-i-d-e-s's?"
Papa "Nope. The looks on your f-a-c-e-s's." AWW. My cute Papa. I love him to pieces.

But for real. I just want to tell them all and see them freak out with excitement already!

The Happiest Place on Earth is about to get a whole lot happier. The joy level is going to burst the roof off Cinderella's castle. I hope they have castle insurance.

Life is a spontaneous adventure.